Wednesday, July 10, 2013
And like a wave from the ocean’s crest,
I was seized by her delicate grace, her defiant beauty.
Turned and twisted, uncovering a mystery with no beginning,
and no foreseeable end.
Confounded by the dark eyes.
Rocked by the gentle sway of fragile hips.
I sunk into her depths like a masochist, born of pure desire
- baited on a hook of unrefined innocence.
How could I escape?
How could I not be drawn by such a Love?
She is the wonder in all my faiths.
She is the magic in all my dreams.
“Swallow me whole and consume me with The Passion,” I cry -
drowning in the glory of her mercy.
“I will never be still again.”
I will never be…One, again.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
What sadness lurks behind the eyes of this forgotten stranger -
the soft silent whispers of a possible future,
extinguished by the cold chill of her ghostly mourning -
solemn disregard for all that could ever be.
Where once sprung forth fountains of such careless desire
now lay dormant & dying,
hidden in the hollow restraints
of her still magnificent smile.
The Love that was, is no more.
Who could have done this?
What great pernicious being could have risen
from its eternal slumber,
to anoint this child of wondrous beauty
w/ so much unrelenting dread -
vicious & vile.
Upon no grave of such godless creation
shall walk a more wretched soul.
Yet here I stand,
Unwavering in my conceit & marked by time,
beckoning to all who care to notice of my one great shame.
I did this. I did it all.
There is no deeper sadness than to witness
the ripping out of an angel's wings, -
no more hurtful regret than to taste
your own sickness upon charted lips.
How did this ever come to be?
What deserted truths live in the hearts of men?
Where innocence once reigned untouched
in its sheltered kingdoms of hope & wonder, -
blood now pours from every open wound.
There is nothing more that can be done,
but to retreat into the shallows of my own disgrace -
& to sleep the forbidden sleep
not so gentle
in the arms of imposing darkness -
committed to delivering my idle spirit
to thoughts only of Her,
alone & forlorn,
and all but alive.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
I have to let it all go -
for me, & all the lives I've touched...
Not a Sacrifice – Not Redemption,
I don't ever want to Love again.
I don't ever even want to feel again.
I give up.
Whatever control I thought I had,
was a Lie.
Whatever Goodness there was inside me,
is all but gone.
Take me to The End of This Horrible Life
- I can no longer wait.
Every Night I Pray
the Morning never comes.
Every moment I wake,
is another stake in my Heart.
There is No God.
There is No “Her”
There is only me.
Must I be Cursed to walk Forever
in the Shadow of my own Indiscretion
Must I be Mercyful
in the Face of my Pain?
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Today I imagined U in your wedding dress,
walking slowly down the aisle to save my Life.
“The Most Beautiful Girl I've Ever Seen”,
What was to be, never was.
Betrayed by Fate – We Belonged...
How could this never be?
Destroyed by The Promise of Our Own Destiny -
My Love Is Dead.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
I feel myself slipping away
(a little further each day)
They took a tiger out of the jungle
& put him in a zoo.
Everything that sustained my life (& distracted me)
has now been taken away forever.
Hopeless, Empty, & Unforgiven
Existing only to Exist
My God has not only forsaken me,
but has condemned me,
turned everything that was so pure & innocent
into something Evil & Shameful.
Sin Born From Love Burns Desire.
How can so much feeling ever be controlled,
let alone, be put an end to?
The One I Worshiped & Adored,
Loved & Secured
holds nothing but Hatred & Disdain
in a once Open & Selfless Heart.
How could something once so full of Light
grow so Dark?
Am I so incapable of understanding?
Am I really The Mad Man
I fought so hard not to become?
There is only but one truth that remains -
It is time to end.