Confusion is constant.
I attempt to wonder my way out.
I slam my head against the wall
insisting the pain will leave if I do this.
My throat burns from all this screaming.
It's not me I say, It's not me.
If I could realize that it is, even for an instant,
I think I'd be alright,
but I couldn’t be sure.
I could never be sure.
I wish someone were here.
Might they put an end to this Misery,
or would they even care enough to ask what was wrong?
The wall finally cracks or is it my head?
I can't be sure.
Will I ever be sure of anything again?
I feel so dirty. I must get clean.
The water in the bath beckons.
It seems so pure.
I climb in slowly.
The water rapidly turns a diluted red.
And so I live, once again.